One of the frustrating things about Twitter is that it’s impossible to find something once it’s gone past a few days. I’ve gotten into the habit of favoriting ones I find particularly funny or that I need to come back to, which is nice, as it allows me to publish a cheap Wednesday blog entry (incidentally, sorry for the cheapness of this entry) that will hopefully still be fun for folks to read. So here are some tweets of glory:
“Sure, we don’t have jetpacks, or live on the moon. But you wouldn’t *believe* how fast we can infringe copyright.”
— Avery Edison (@aedison) April 30, 2012
A Chipotle has opened next to Pink’s Hot Dogs in Los Angeles, fulfilling this city’s dream of a diarrhea district.
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) April 22, 2012
Trackpads are ideal for people with a tendril emerging from the chest, which I kinda wish I had for reasons entirely unrelated to trackpads.
— Dave (@earlypaintbrush) March 4, 2012
Note: This was Stephenson’s first tweet in a year and a half.
Spent yesterday building a giant hamster wheel.
— Neal Stephenson (@nealstephenson) April 22, 2012
A girl once told me that peeling the labels off beer bottles was a sign that I was sexually frustrated. “So is this,” I said, then sobbed.
— Zachary Johnson (@Zucherman) April 18, 2012
This one is obviously a variation on a million similar tweets (and, admit it, it’s a thought we’ve all had), but the first one I saw (or at least, favorited – I’m sure it’s far from the first time someone made that observation though)
If I ever run into the kid that plays that prick Joffrey on Game of Thrones, I’m sorry – I’m beating the shit out of him.
— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) April 7, 2012
I’m sure “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” will be fun, but still seems like a ripoff of my “Grover Cleveland: Mummy Puncher.”
— BillCorbett (@BillCorbett) December 16, 2011
→ should produce a totally bitchin’ unicode tiger instead of a stupid right arrow.
— Jeff Atwood (@codinghorror) February 19, 2012
“Well sir I’d say my weaknesses are I work too hard sometimes & also I murdered all those teen runaways.” –near-miss job interview answer
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 29, 2012
Well, that happened. Stay tuned for some (hopefully) more fulfilling content on Sunday…